As a family mediator specializing in divorce, I have had many clients who contact me for help with the decision to divorce or separate; either because they have had negative experiences or assumptions about couple’s counselors, or because they are uncertain about the decision yet also want to explore what divorce would look like.

A number of recent mediations have reaffirmed some essentials which I share here in the hope that they might be helpful to others: It’s not all about the money. Mr A had a very substantial claim against a bank running into hundreds of thousands of pounds Sterling, most of his life savings.

Getting to grips with mediation can leave students and trainees overwhelmed. That favourite training tool, the roleplay, throws most in at the deep end. The sudden immersion forces them to speak, listen and observe while trying to remember models and skills plus a sea of reading and the trainer’s feedback. Oh, and all combined with performance anxiety.

Disagreements often start when someone doesn’t want to discuss something or take a necessary action, and someone else accuses that person of avoiding. That accusation will generate a wide variety of responses based on the kind of avoidance being demonstrated. 

A few weeks ago, I spent the afternoon driving around the Coromandel with an exponent of kickboxing. My friend is a very kind, gentle woman who is married to a kickboxing instructor. As she talked, I found myself seeing the analogy between the process used to teach kickboxing and the skills we need to learn as mediators.

This article will give a brief overview of the following topics; What is evaluative mediation?, Who cares about a name?, The quest for “successful” dispute resolution processes, Why the apparent interest in Evaluative Mediation (EM)?, What are the types of EM? Eg Process; Medrec; SIMSLILC, Core description of “advice”, What are the common types of advice?—Seven types suggested, Advantages of EM, Disadvantages of EM, Consent to advice; Advice to whom? Timing? Tone? Words and images, Some standard hurdles during EM and the Conclusion