(This article was first published in the Oakland County Legal News on May 30 and June 27, 2023.) “The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy, and the power to transform and resurrect.”  Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which I have practiced for more than a decade, has taught me invaluable life lessons on and off the mats.  After a recent training session, I began to realize that many of the lessons of jiu jitsu apply to a different part of my life: mediation.

Preparing yourself for a mediation is challenging. No one likes conflict, and no matter how well you prepare or how much faith you have in the process, there will be emotion involved.

As far as I can tell, the development and deployment of artificial intelligence (AI) is the biggest technical advance for mediators and mediation since the original adoption of email in the 1980’s and the commercialization of the web in the 1990’s. AI is that important.

I’d like to comment on a seven-day workshop I once attended in Westminster, Colorado. This experience is called “Ultimatum” and is based on the work of Dr. Donald Epstein, a chiropractor, who has developed several mind/body/spirit disciplines and has written several books and many articles. The forty or so participants who attended, including myself, learned (and energetically experienced) so much in a relatively short period of time. But I can share a few gems.

Divorce mediation does not always end in a full agreement. Sometimes, there are a few topics you can’t agree on or you find that mediation isn’t right for you.